a dream last night of T
I walked along a river path, or an urban trail
and, to my right,
he was pulling the self made bow and launching arrows into a near bullseye
on the second one, I said "impressive".
and we talked as he pulled me into a curling embrace on a stoop of stairs in an open space
where the glassy eyed beat of strangers lounged and wandered in a medicated darkness around us.
He waxed poetic philosophies, spiritualities and sentimentalities as we perched in the center of the wire.
Inside a house, a man in a towel slyly approached me for an important aside about T's journeys through Memphis and the rabbit trail of secrets he so skillfully omits. I embraced him with a thank you and whispered that I liked him (my body knew truth),but not in that way.
we smiled and separated.
I wore a borrowed orange jacket and ran out of the house with a terrible and terror filled urgency.
and, in the dream, could feel the surge of adrenalin in my legs and arms.
running, running, running.
T was down the road a bit, still in the dark, and called to me over and over until all I heard was my own beating heart and the pounding of my feet, one after another. In a moment of awakening, he began the chase.
I could not run fast. With all my might I urged my feet to find the next step, faster, faster, but, it was lead and concrete and only a thick and weighted pace that I could summon. He gained on me.
I turned into a home and barreled through the door, tearing off the orange jacket, and into a bedroom. Someone was there, but I never saw a face. I could only lean into a bigger hope of protection and mercy as I dove under the bed and pleaded for my secret to stay. I prayed that I had not landed into a more dangerous den of lions.
My secret was kept and as I began to wake I tried to stay and resolve the completed flight. who would I want there? what next? Call for someone to come pick me up in a car?
No, no car.
I would run myself out of there and to my safety. Who, where?
I thought of Linda S. and Adria.
go to them. run.
