help when I need it most.

I might get ready to go.
The world is evaporating before my very eyes.
I say this and, inthismoment, my beloved luna jumps to me,
rubs her face against my hand,
purrs,
engages me in love, again.

SE, with love from Mexico

as a love letter to you,
I'll go into the muscle and bone
wait and wait
and watch the dance arise through numb confusion

and my spine will burn like someone is stabbing me in the back,
and my teeth will ache while the heaviness of my head wobbles on my neck like a
sand balloon
and my hamstring will pull like a foreshadow
and I will be lost and unclear and drifting and wanting to give up and go away and disappear
and
I will not.
I will ride the wave and warble and wiggle my fingers and toes and somehow stay
in the wait of the struggle
not knowing the name of the struggle
not knowing the place or time

wondering without any wonder,
"is this a fall?" in a literal fashion
or metaphor
and that last word will tumble back upon itself and I
can remember the Firehall Theatre,
dragging my elbows up and sliding slowly from stage left to right
deep in the telling of the thing
only my body knows.

I will turn to the right and twist and stand and revolve and start again and go slowly and
wait
for the potency to build.
and I will raise my hand to strike and I won't.
I will find the wall, find the door and pull
 and pull, pull, pull
with all my might
I pull it shut, to keep it closed, to keep it out, to stretch into the memory of forgetting....

and the beast, who guards the fears, says, " I got this. You rest, now"
so I do.