I watched this video three times today. The first two times, I was alone. It choked me up a little. The third time, I was sharing it with my mother. She is someone I feel safe and secure with. She is someone with whom I can be however I am. As we began watching it, within the first few seconds, I began to weep uncontrollably. By the end, I was sobbing. I was putting all of the pieces together about why this beautiful and tender video was pulling apart my heart.
Bentley was afraid of the noises of the hospital. Here, was someone with a true and deep heart, holding him, like a mother, doing what she knew to do to soothe him, to give him the message of "you are not alone, you will be ok, I am here, I will protect you." His comfort and need of her presence is palpable.
Through streaming tears I began to speak out loud of how much pain there is for all of the pigs that are locked in gestation crates, sent to slaughterhouses, cramped in trailers with temperatures soaring into a hundred degrees or more. I think of the sounds they must hear. The clanging, the crying, the cold, metallic chaos of suffering and death. The smells, the sights. The absence of kindness, softness, touch, compassion, silence, joy or hope.
The pigs,
cows,
calves,
chickens,
ducks,
goats,
lambs,
turkeys,
geese,
rabbits,
minx,
fox,
sables,
dogs,
cats,
monkeys,
chimpanzees,
rats,
mice
elephants,
tigers,
bears,
lions,
etc.
you get the point.
or do you?
we cannot do this any longer.
WE CANNOT DO THIS ANY LONGER.
WE CANNOT DO THIS ANY LONGER
What we do to animals we do to us.
It is an absolute truth whether or not you want to buy it. Bring whatever fancy and logical arguments you have; they fall to pieces when you bear to feel what happens in your heart while looking into the eyes of a factory farmed animal, a zoo animal, an animal about to be slaughtered or sacrificed, a research animal, a circus/entertainment animal, a dog from a puppy mill, a dog or rooster used for fighting, a bull in a stadium or running the streets, panicked, an animal at a fur farm.
just look.
and,don't dissociate.
STAY IN YOUR BODY AND REALLY FEEL WHAT IS THERE.
What we do to animals we do to us.
I am so sick of the arguments that I have to present to JUSTIFY why this matters to me. I am outraged that I have to explain compassion to people who say to me, "yeah, but...bacon".
I am outraged to see happy photos of people on social media at zoos and circuses, eating hamburgers and hot dogs and posting memes about how much they love animals; how incensed they are that Cecil the Lion was killed. I am outraged and fatigued by the pandemic denial about where food comes from: animals. earth. weather. and the long forgotten respect required to participate in a healthy balance of what we take and what we give back. Holy shit, people, at the very least....GRATITUDE and HONEST AWARENESS about what sacrifices are made for you.
I can't change the world. Even as the veils are being ripped off, violently, to the darkest underbelly of what human beings are capable of, I know I have no choice but to bear witness. That doesn't mean I have to innundate myself with horrible images ( I will never again watch an animal cruelty video), but I can remain awake and conscious of the change that has to happen in this world. I have to find how my particular voice lends a note to the song that begins to bring sanctuary, safety, refuge to those who need it most. I can't change the world. I can barely bear the pain. I know why people look away and pretend they don't see what's happening. I know. It's excruciating. It's touching darkness and evil. It's coming close to something foul and sinister to see the unimaginable. It's nightmares come to waking life. It's grief and rage and fear and pain, unending soul pain, to acknowledge what we, as a species, do to animals.
But we cannot afford to look away, go silent or shroud ourselves in denial.
It becomes us. It becomes that hidden corner in our souls that screams and thrashes in the dark. It becomes our emptiness, torpor, apathy and soul crushing unrest. It haunts us and keeps our spirits restless and unanswered. We dangle loose in the world; untethered to a home, a belonging, a resting place. We become the food we eat. Every molecule of us is our poisoned waters and irradiated soils, the agonies and torments of being abandoned and unwitnessed, tortured and murdered, without names and without stories. We become the justifications. And we compartmentalize. And we define enemies. We find we are living in a world of genocide, murder, suicide, abuse, racism, speciesism, misogyny, hate, intolerance, war, argument, violence, loneliness, rage, isolation, pain, addiction, sociopathy, narcissism, sadism, trauma.
And we wonder why.
How could this be? How did we get here?
And, still, we can see no further than our own noses. Our own pain. We fail to recognize the global community of people, animals, earth.
God, I want to believe that love will triumph.
I do.
I want to believe that a song will come to each of us. We will burrow ourselves into the neck and sweet sound of whatever comforts us the most deeply and truly. Whatever returns us back to that God given right to be joyful, alive, safe and protected. Whatever provides sanctuary for us to return to who we are, originally. Whatever awakens our light, our empathy, our compassion.
Whatever brings us back to our true belonging. our home. our hearts.
until then,
I will let these tears rush and be willing to feel the pain of this broken world.
