I bought my wedding dress today.
It was a spontaneous trip to the store. I invited Linda, last minute because I hadn't realized the date, to go to a costume sale at the theatre. She said yes and was on her way when I double checked the time and realized we had missed it by about 30 minutes. I blew it. bummer.
So, we decided to go to David's Bridal instead.
I went last week with mom, reeling from the stomach bug that I had so, I was a little woozy. I tried many gowns on and narrowed it down to about 3. Then I went home and, in my typical fashion, researched the heck out those gowns and more, looking for a deal. Sample sales, clearance, etc.
Today, I forgot my notes and so, in the pouring rain, we decided to just run in and try some dresses on and see what I liked. I wanted Linda's opinion.
Colee helped me again. I tried on 3 dresses.
The first was the bling bling Grandmaster Flash: a beaded and jeweled number that is stunning and spectacular and out of my price range. But, so pretty.....yes, it looked great on me. To be honest, it was also itchy under the armpits and required a whole lotta corsetting. But, oh was it pretty.
Number two: the Goddess dress. super stunning, strapless with a simple a-line skirt and a train with elegant beading. An empire waist with some sparkly bling. We topped it with a rhinestone blingy blingy beautiful drape over the neck and shoulders. Beautiful. Elegant. Goddess-y.
The last dress: I honestly don't really remember trying it on before. It's a simple sheath, all lace with a keyhole back and a high waist. super pretty. elegant. simple but stunning. We added a beaded sash and suddenly I was in love. Linda said it was her favorite. I put a clip in my hair and a pearl necklace on and I could see it. I could see me and Robert standing face to face, crying and smiling and starting this step of the journey together, hand in hand. It was the dress.
I became ambivalent about the dress once I said it. Buying the dress is such a big deal; it is saying yes, for sure, I am doing this and this is what I'm going to wear while doing it. It is the arms wide fall into the surrender. But, I felt emotional.
Then they handed me a bell and told me to make a wish, say a prayer and, when I was ready, to ring the bell. I started to cry; I was overcome. What are you doing to me, you tricky salespeople? You are shooting a bullseye on my hopes and dreams and the happily ever after...you know what you are doing. hooking me on how beautiful I am in THIS dress and then doing all these magical rituals so there is no time to look back, ponder, second guess....all the way to the register. That's the cynic in me.
But, also.....it was deciding I am not going to hem and haw. I am saying yes. This dress is beautiful. I don't need a deal. I don't need to get a bargain. This is an important ritual in my life. I am the type of person that could keep piling on the choices until I was so confused that I wouldn't be able to make a choice. That sums me up. This was a moment where I decided not to do that. To say YES. I choose this. I choose Robert. I choose this moment in time. I choose to wear this dress when I marry him.
So I did.
and, yes: I feel the slight urge to back pedal, to wish that I had slept on it for a night. But, it's done. Paid for. And I don't have to do anymore research. I can move forward. so.....YES!!
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