anniversary of your exit.

i had forgotten if it was today or tomorrow.
the memory of it is sharp but, the details have grown distracted.
there is a funny way that you sit beside me now.
in moments of quiet.
in a song that tears me open.
answer me. answer me.
and I am a cat curled upon your chest, listening to the beat of your heart.
I am encircled in your arms and you sing.

I don't recognize the words, but I have not yet learned a language.
I am all syllables and melody. I know this is my song you sing.
and I know you sing it for me.

I know this music the same way I know how to breathe.
instinctively.
I know you the same way I know how to laugh.
with my whole heart.

it is the words and the weight that got in the way.
it is the world that divided us.

this is the thin time.
the days of wind that bring you close. I feel you now,
standing
over my shoulder.
the way I wished you had.
the way my belly softens now to know that you are here.
the way my tears rush in missing you and what might've been.

It is the words and the weight of the world that got in the way.
it is the wounds that divided us.

I wonder almost all the time
what you know about me.
what you are.
and where.
if there is a place where we meet now
or again
or ever.

I'm sad to consider this might be the end.