31 march. day 27

I counted the days inside, or at least away from
others.
the day after my heart broke.
that's when the distancing began.
sooner than others
and for different reasons.
but,
the reasons merged and
so,
I stayed inside
except for
a trip to the nursery for soil and trees; fruit and nut.
2 trips to the grocery store, wearing gloves. feeling scared because no one was staying away.
a trip to lowe's. an ultrasonic plug in non-harmful mouse repellant for the mouse who wants to eat what food we have.
a trip to the dump to get rid of garbage. no contact with humans. just birds and birds.
a porch visit over 10 feet away from my beautiful mama and the beautiful spring day, and Moki barking at us from inside.

but I'm outside a lot.
walking the neighborhood hills
listening to birds, talking to birds, let's be real.
putting my hands in the earth, planting seeds, watching for something new to come to life
like the bud on the dogwoods in the front,
the tiny buds on the red bud.
the hibiscus are greening,
the leaves on the roses are readying.
everyone else is waiting to bloom.
we'll see who makes it.

I spent the morning with clients on zoom.
barefooted in my cozy leggings.
I took a ballet class on my lunch break.
I'm on day 10 of daily classes. maybe more, but at least 10.
my body is sore. I'm older and rusty.
a little at a time.
but my soul is happy
and my muscles feel purposeful, finally.

I would like to do more reading,
watching movies.

yesterday, I watched dance.
Ailey's Revelations; the piece that I saw live at UF and decided I wanted to pursue a career in dance. and so I did.
Nederlands Dans Theatre's "Stop Motion" literally stilled my heart. made me yearn. inspired me to be young again, start dance as a child, train, and put every ounce of my soul into it. to dance, to choreograph, to create. it hurt my heart as much as it healed it.

a few days ago Kidd Pivot's "Dark Matter" also. a mixture of inspiration, ache and longing, and sheer reverence.

there's anxiety. always.
there's gratitude. always.
i'm afraid of how fast this virus spreads and how sufferable it is.
I pray. always.

the walkers. the support team. for the ceremonies at Tsantawu...
including my sister.
I pray. always.