2020 hindsight

 to continue my review in this new and bullet biting decade...

2020:

I play Rosannah in Brilliant Traces. I soar. I find my power. I pace backstage at 35below in a muddied wedding dress, listening to James Blunt's MONSTER before I explode into the wildest 90 minute ride I've ever known.

I hold my grandmother's hand and watch her take her last breath, gently. It's Valentine's Day. the pastor has anointed her with oils, prayed over her; we are enveloped in grace.

I get a crown, but not the fun kind. there is no ceremony or feast.

I am cast in a some good theatre. Invited to choreograph some good musicals. My creative life is blooming: Maggie in the Shadowbox (HART), Reggie in The Laramie Project (Parkway Playhouse). Choreograph Into the Woods (Parkway Playhouse), have to turn down Music Man (HART) because of my schedule, & ACT's Mama Mia. All of it goes away...

I lose Sweet Pea and I still have boots and a jacket that are soaked in the mud and blood of that horrible night. I learn how loud my grief can be.

The whole world goes into lockdown. We learn to work via Zoom. We learn to have friend dates via Zoom and Facetime. I learn the Marco Polo and laugh daily. My hands come to life in the dirt. I plant, I grow, I build, I harvest beauty, flowers, and vegetables.

I take ballet from Spenser Theberge and occasionally, Jermaine Spivey, in LA. I take Ballet with Mark Haim in Seattle. I take modern with Gerri Houlihan in Durham. I do an intensive with Eiko Otake in Japan. I study Shakespeare with Hal Ryder in Seattle. I study Shakespeare, Linklater, and Feldenkrais with Gwendolyn Schweinke and Corrinna May at Shakespeare and Company in Massachusetts. I dance Gaga with Ohad Naharin. I take Tap with a master. Yoga with Adriene. I join Obe and dance with Walter Kemp and Peter Tucci. I take Klein technique through movement research. True Acting Institute with Larry Silverberg.

I watch free theatre. National Theatre. Prague Shakespeare. Magnetic Theatre. Andrew Lloyd Weber.

I assist SE via Zoom.

I attend Zoom memorials: my dear friend, Adria Zimmerman. Hal Ryder.

I tell the story about moving to New York and meeting Destiny on the plane in Listen to This's zoom performance.

I canoe and grumble about the people not wearing masks while standing in line.

I wear a mask. I get in heated discussions with people who won't.

I hear about friends' and client's family and friends dying of COVID. I listen to people, who I thought were kind and sane and educated, deny that COVID exists. I unfriend and unfollow people on social media. I get in debates. I learn quickly to set boundaries and let go.

I witness conspiracy theories grow and spread like poison.

George Floyd is murdered. Black Lives Matters gains momentum.

Protests erupt. I watch people become instant activists, fired up and righteous, for good cause, but reeking of appropriating the cause. Months later, there's no sign of the outrage of those same people. They're posting selfies and memes, but no longer in the midst of protest.