listened to myself at last.
take time today, slow it down, meditate and pray
do things that are not doing and allow yourself to
receive
guidance, nurturance, space, time.
the gentleness of the Goddess will hold you.
I cancelled my plans to go to the ocean.
I prayed in the morning, then let the questions go.
where am i to be?
what am I to do?
non-action, non-doing.
allow yourself for now to
be.
a relaxed morning.
an afternoon in the cool fall wind with leaves and chill breezes,
sun,
Ursa, happily bounding for stick after stick.
joy.
being with her is pure pure joy.
with her ready for an afternoon nap,
I embark towards Hot Springs for a
much dreamed of, longed for
soak in the mineral springs.
to be held in warm water, rich with earth,
listening to the French Broad River coo.
I bring Deva's soulful food, a journal, a candle,
water and chocolate.
I drive
and enjoy this autumn day, cool and sunfilled.
David Bowie is singing and I see the flashing blue lights and
shit, I'm caught.
The trooper is polite and offers sympathy when I, without acting,
begin to cry and shake.
I tell him about my dad and that I was driving just to drive and I didn't watch my speed and I'm sorry and...and....
while he is writing me my $166 ticket, I hug the steering wheel and meltdown.
Redeyed tears are nothing new to this officer, I imagine.
He wishes me well and says my father would want me to slow down and be safe.
for a few more miles, I cry.
then, I guess that maybe the message is to just slow down and be safe.
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