we began.
The newbie wasn't positioned too far away from me so I was able to feel the fidgets, hear the sighs and catch the drift that this was a bit of a challenging step he had just taken. In the midst of Eagle posture, he went down in a loud crash and a cry of pain. He'd torn something, something popped, something hurt pretty bad.
The instructor made an assessment and suggested he stay in the room while she located ice and continued the dialogue for us through her microphone headset. He was in pretty significant pain and he was not quiet about it. The dynamics were chaotic. The field was quick to fill with the reactions of several people, including miss eye roll in the front, who seemed put out by the interruptions. She got busy trying to enlist allies to support that she, along with the rest of the class, was somehow victimized by this poor guy's selfish decision to have an injury in the middle of her practice. I think most people had some amount of compassion for the situation, but mostly there was an attempt to keep the momentum of the class rolling along.
I found middle ground for myself. I continued to do my practice and allowed him space and allowed the instructor to assume her leadership role. When it was time for him to leave the room, I offered to be one of the people to help him up and help him outside. When the owner of the studio arrived to bring him to urgent care, I helped him into the car. I returned to practice and felt like I wanted to sob. I recognized the great deal of energy that he was setting loose; lots of fear and worry and override. It was pretty intense. I just returned to the room and returned to my practice, but it seemed off for the rest of the class. I was irritated mostly by the woman in the front and her flagrant narcissism. How dare she be put out by someone's serious injury. The nerve!
Yoga is union. Yes.
We practice in the room together and begin and end each posture together to feel the community, to feel the union of the energy in the room. If one person is really going for it, especially if they are standing right next to you, you are inspired more to go for it. If one person is collapsing and having trouble staying in the room, you feel that too and your practice is likely to become more challenging. So, when one person is groaning and writhing in pain; much like a wounded animal, the whole room has to accommodate that. What an interesting opportunity. I watched my own responses and reactions and felt like, perhaps I could've done more or perhaps I did just enough and honored my own boundaries at the same time. I felt an animal instinct, surprisingly, that honed in on the upstaging antics of the aggressor across the room. It was like she smelled blood and was going to be sure to alert the sharks. That was the vibe that I had more difficulty shaking off. It was pure ugliness.
I made it through class and tracked myself through savasana, shook of what isn't mine, reestablished my boundaries and breathed in my gratitude for life.
Sometimes people are so difficult to be around. Today I need a big bubble of protection around me.
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